A Meal of Toads and Other Gruesome Punishments

Some chilling warnings to the faithful from Caesarius of Heisterbach's hagiographical compendium, including a whispering ghost girl, hellbound jousters, and other tormented souls

A meal of toads. From Fra Angelico’s Last Judgement

Caesarius of Heisterbach (d. 1240) was one of the most popular hagiographers of the Middle Ages. The prior of the Cistercian Heisterbach Abbey, he’s most famous for his Dialogue on Miracles, which was rivaled only by the Golden Legend in popularity. Over the course of a dozen thematic books, Caesarius tells hundreds of miracle stories categorized by themes like Contrition, Confession, Demons, and so on, but the final chapter is what concerns us today: “Of the Punishment and the Glory of the Dead.”

Some glory. Mostly punishment.

These stories are shaped as exemplum: short anecdotes with a pithy moral to them. The telling varies, with most offering simple pious lessons. For instance:

After a deacon had read the gospel for confessors, that is, “Watch, for ye know not at what hour your Lord will come,” in Aulne, a house of our Order, as he finished those words, a monk in the choir fell down and expired. And all were afraid considering the ef…